Black Holes

When I first learned of the existence of black holes in the universe, my overactive imagination convinced me that we were all going to be sucked into a black hole like dust bunnies under a bed destined for the vacuum bag.  I have since learned that black holes are passive, waiting for objects to come close enough to be trapped by their gravitational force.  The black holes in my life, however, are different; they follow me around.  One popped up yesterday because daughter #2 and I got into a terrible argument during which we both said hurtful things to each other. Even though we both apologized, the energy drain keeps tagging at my heels, so today I am even more ineffective than usual.

The Highly Effective People I know do not seem to experience these emotional black holes.  They tell people off who need to be told off and get on with their day.  What's even more interesting is that the recipient of the telling off almost always forgives them.  Maybe Highly Effective People have some of Ronald Reagan's Teflon.  I either have no Teflon or have been sprayed with a very low quality-made-in-China generic non-stick coating; and it is the same for other Highly Ineffective People of my acquaintance.  Here's an example of how this works:  one windy day, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and got a little grumpy with my neighbor who doesn't keep her trash properly contained so it blew all over my front yard like it did the prior week and the week before, ...  That person will never speak to me again unless I fall all over myself apologizing for having been such a jerk and beg her to throw her trash all over my front yard for the rest of time.  Even so, our cordial neighborly relations will never be the same all because of one small act of grumpiness which opened a black hole in my world.  My slovenly neighbor will have the upper hand and I will forever be kissing it.  Why, you may ask, do I care if my slovenly neighbor speaks to me?  The answer is that I am wracked with guilt about any negative feelings which I may leave in my wake.  What if I died tomorrow?  My neighbor would show up at my memorial service and tell everyone what a small-minded, petty jerk I have always been.

Lesson #2:  Highly Effective People do not care what their slovenly neighbors say about them.