Today got off to a good start: I was up early and got the housekeeping out of the way in record time. There was even a hint of the cooler, drier air which is why people live in south Florida, so I decided to take the dogs for a walk. Part of my rationale for doing this was to make Ringo so happy he wouldn't feel the need to escape our fully-fenced 3 1/3 acre property. Alfie is a good dog and won't leave when the gates are open because he's a homeboy who knows that his life is good. Ringo knows his life is good, too, but there's always room for improvement.
Ringo is also known as Mr. Fun because he can't seem to get enough of it. At first, he was content to torment Alfie into play fighting with him for several hours a day, but then Alfie stopped taking the bait and the fun was over. Luckily for Ringo, and unluckily for us, Doug, the dog next door, is 65 pounds of solid muscle and has boundless fun capacity! Our wildlife fence was a serious problem for these two fun-boys until Ringo discovered a hole in the one place we could not get to without serious bodily harm. Somehow, he slid through the impenetrable net of vines, palmettos, and thorn bushes in the southwest corner of our lot where he somehow knew a narrow gap existed. Getting from the canal into Doug's yard involved some serious problem-solving and geographical aptitude. It turns out that our big red dog is a canine genius.
It took more than a week to hack away at the jungle so that we could close the hole in the fence and for three whole days, Ringo sulked around like we were punishing him. But then, Doug taught him how to dig under the shared fenceline and an escape artist was born. So began an endless cycle of digging, escaping, and patching. I no longer feel sorry for Sisyphus. Whatever he did to irritate the gods, he likely deserved. At some point I will put in a sheep fence or hot wire, but that takes measuring and multiplying and problem-solving, three things which I have little talent for. My brain hurts just thinking about the thinking involved. And then there is the cost of putting in the fence because if I do it not only will I electrocute myself but the wire won't work and then my husband will left alone with Houdini's heir.
In south Florida, wildlife fencing is a necessity if your property backs up to a canal where alligators have been known to flourish, not to mention snakes, boars, and who knows what else. If a dog goes missing for a couple of days, chances are it fought an alligator and the gator won. When (not if) Ringo goes mandible a mandible with a gator I expect he will go out in an explosion of ecstasy because, after all, the flip side of pain is pleasure! And that brings me to my own pain (aka Ringo, aka Houdini, aka Mr. Fun). If I were a Highly Effective Person, first of all I would NEVER have adopted this dog. Highly Effective People purchase pedigreed dogs, guaranteed to be brain dead. They have much better sense than to "rescue" someone else's problem. My husband and I, two of the most Highly Ineffective People you are likely to meet, have now "rescued" four dogs, not one of which could be considered brain dead.
What we have that our Highly Effective brethren do not, is a collection of hilarious stories of dogs from hell who captured our hearts and taught us that there is always something to look forward to.
Copyright 2012 Teresa Friedlander all rights reserved
