Everybody knows somebody who juggles childcare, eldercare,
social activities, and a full-time job, with every hair in place and no
wrinkles in her linen suit. We Highly
Ineffective People talk about them behind their backs, admiring them while
secretly tearing them down because we are consumed with High Effectiveness Envy
(HEE). I have been in a care-giving role
for 22 years and never – not once – have I managed to look put together. The hair is always frizzy, the blouse
rumpled, and the pants a little too long in the rise or baggy in the seat. Until recently, my main responsibility was
for school-age children, but suddenly I find that in addition to managing
children in two remote locations, I have aging parents, with increasingly
complex needs, demanding my attention. And
two birds, two dogs, a horse, and a husband.
And a large house and 3 acre garden.
Even with some household help, I am never caught up and most
of the time am not looking my best. It
would be easy to blame the south Florida climate for my rumpled appearance
except I had the same problem when I lived up north in much less humidity. It would be equally easy to blame my
complicated family for my constantly disorganized household, except that I know
women with much more complicated families who keep it together AND work full time. Why does their hair look neat, their manicure
fresh, and their clothing brand new? Who
has time to get her hair done (two hours), nails manicured (one hour) and buy
new clothes (hours and hours) every week?
Not me. I barely have time to go
to the grocery store and fix a no frills dinner on days when I have to pay the
bills which I have neglected until the last possible moment.
What is it that differentiates Highly Effective People from
their Highly Ineffective counterparts?
My latest theory can be summed up in one word: Caring.
These two types of people care about the same things but in very different ways. Highly Effective People care about efficiency
and effectiveness, their appearance, and what others think about them. Highly Ineffective People care about these
same things, but cannot do anything about it. Marshaling our energies takes so much effort that we should never do
more than one thing at a time. Highly
Ineffective People are incapable of multi-tasking, and yet we do it
anyway. And the reason: because we cannot say no to the people (and
animals) we care about. When the
children need something, they need it NOW.
When Hubby needs something, he needs it YESTERDAY. When the dogs need something, they knock me
over. When the horse needs something, he
kicks out his stall door and then I have to call the vet to stitch him up. Usually, EVERYONE needs something URGENTLY at the SAME
TIME, which is exactly the time during which I had planned to clean the kitchen or pay the bills or weed one of the garden beds or do a load of laundry or
go to the grocery store or cook dinner or backwash the water softening system
or make the bed or dust the plantation shutters or clean the pool deck
or change the air conditioner filters or take the car for service etc. So I do what any other Highly
Ineffective Person would do and try to do everything at once and when, predictably, I
accomplish nothing, I am tempted to sell my soul to the Devil in exchange for
becoming a Highly Effective Person. The
only problem I can see with this is that I might not like my Highly Effective
Self and the Devil would say “Didn’t your mother ever tell you to be careful of
what you wish for? Because you might get it.”
Maybe I should tell my loved ones to be independent for a change, but then they might do it and then they would figure out that they don't need me and then what would I do?
Copyright 2012 Teresa Friedlander, all rights reserved
No comments:
Post a Comment